8 Simple Practices for Mastering Emotional Regulation

Practical Tools for Navigating Anxiety, Stress, and Life Transitions

Emotional regulation is a foundational skill for mental health. It helps us respond to life’s inevitable ups and downs with greater flexibility, resilience, and self-compassion. Whether you’re navigating relationship stress, career transitions, or chronic anxiety, strengthening your ability to regulate emotions can bring more clarity, calm, and connection into your life.

In my psychotherapy practice—where I specialize in women’s issues, anxiety in relationships, life transitions, and codependency/people-pleasing—I often support clients in building emotional regulation through mindfulness, somatic therapy (including Somatic Experiencing®), EMDR, and parts work.

Drawing on the work of leading trauma and nervous system experts like Pat Ogden (Sensorimotor Psychotherapy), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing®), and Deb Dana (Polyvagal Theory), this article offers eight simple, practical tools you can start using today.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you become aware of what’s happening inside—your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations—without judgment. As Pat Ogden teaches, bringing attention to bodily experiences can shift emotional states and create new patterns of regulation.

Try this: Spend 2–5 minutes noticing your breath or sensations (warmth, tingling, tightness) in your body. Ask yourself: What’s happening in my body right now? Can I stay present with it with curiosity?

Over time, this practice helps build what Deb Dana calls “experiential anchors”—pathways back to calm and safety.

Use Breath to Shift Your State

Breathing patterns affect your nervous system. Shallow, rapid breathing can heighten anxiety, while slow, deep breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping you regulate emotions and feel grounded.

Peter Levine suggests rhythmic breath as a key tool for self-regulation.

Try this: Practice the 4-7-8 breath: Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale slowly through your mouth for 8. Do this 3–5 cycles to calm your body.

Track Your Nervous System State

Understanding your nervous system can demystify emotional reactions. As Deb Dana explains in The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, we move between states of social engagement (calm/connected), fight/flight (anxious/angry), and shutdown (numb/overwhelmed).

Try this: Throughout your day, pause and ask: Which state am I in? What helps me feel safe and supported?

Learning your unique cues allows you to respond skillfully and build emotional flexibility.

Journal for Reflection & Integration

Writing is a powerful way to process emotions and make meaning of your experiences. Journaling can also help track triggers and patterns in relationships—a core focus in my work with clients navigating anxiety in relationships and codependency.

Try this: Each evening, journal for 5–10 minutes about: What emotions did I notice today? What helped me feel more regulated? What do I need moving forward?

Engage in Gentle Movement

Trauma and chronic stress often become “stuck” in the body (Levine, 1997). Movement helps discharge this stored energy and restore flow in the nervous system.

Try this: Gentle yoga, mindful walking, dancing, or stretching with awareness. Notice sensations and allow your body to move in ways that feel nurturing.

Incorporating movement regularly supports both physical and emotional regulation.

Practice Self-Compassion

Harsh self-talk can escalate emotional distress. Cultivating self-compassion—offering yourself the same kindness you would a friend—softens emotional responses and fosters resilience (Kristin Neff, 2011).

Try this: When difficult emotions arise, place a hand on your heart and say: It’s okay to feel this. I’m here for myself. I can meet this moment with care.

Set Boundaries to Protect Your Emotional Energy

Boundaries are an essential part of emotional regulation—especially for clients working to heal patterns of people-pleasing and codependency. Clear boundaries create emotional safety and reduce overwhelm.

Try this: Identify one small boundary you can set this week—perhaps saying “no” to a request or limiting time spent in draining environments. Notice how this affects your emotional state.

Seek Co-Regulation through Supportive Relationships

We regulate best in connection with others. Co-regulation—sharing safety and calm with trusted others—is a biological need, not a weakness (Dana, 2018).

Try this: Reach out to a supportive friend, therapist, or group when you’re struggling. Simply being in the presence of an attuned, caring person can shift your nervous system toward safety and connection.

Your Path to Greater Emotional Resilience

Emotional regulation is not about suppressing emotions—it’s about building a relationship with them. Through mindful awareness, body-based practices, compassion, and connection, you can cultivate greater ease and resilience in how you move through life.

If you’d like personalized support in building these skills, I offer virtual therapy for adults in the San Francisco Bay Area and Los Angeles, California, specializing in:

• Women’s Issues

• Anxiety in Relationships

• Life Transitions

• Codependency & People-Pleasing

• Mindfulness and Somatic Therapy