Finding Balance and Purpose as an American Expat
Living abroad is often described as an adventure—and it is. But it’s also a deep personal reckoning, one that stirs your inner world just as much as your outer reality. As a U.S.-trained psychotherapist now based in London, I specialize in helping American expats, women navigating life transitions, people-pleasing and codependency patterns, and those managing anxiety, depression, and relationship challenges. My first taste of reverse culture shock hit me hard after studying abroad in West Africa. When I returned to California, everything familiar suddenly felt foreign. Years later, after relocating to the UK, I found myself in unfamiliar territory once again—trying to find my rhythm in a city full of movement and rich in so many things to offer. It took time to feel settled, even with so much beauty and green space to ground into.
Whether you’ve just arrived in a new country or have been abroad for years, you might feel caught between cultures, unsure where you belong. This blog is both a personal reflection and a professional guide—here to support you in finding balance, connection, and purpose in your expat journey.
Understanding the Expat Experience
Expat life stretches you. It calls forward the parts of you that crave novelty, independence, and change—while also activating the parts that long for comfort, familiarity, and home.
Many Americans abroad experience a subtle (or not-so-subtle) identity crisis: Who am I in this new place? Where do I belong? These feelings aren’t signs of failure—they’re invitations to evolve.
From navigating different social norms to handling bureaucratic headaches, each challenge offers a chance to build resilience. But it’s also okay to admit when the excitement fades and the emotional toll sets in. It’s completely normal to feel unmoored. Understanding this emotional terrain helps you move through it with more self-compassion.
Coping with Culture Shock Through Mindfulness and Self-Awareness
Culture shock isn’t just about navigating a new country—it’s about reckoning with how you relate to unfamiliarity, uncertainty, and change. It can bring up a range of emotions: excitement, confusion, grief, loneliness, even resentment.
One important practice I often invite clients into is noticing what’s happening in your nervous system. Are you:
in fight mode (feeling irritable, overwhelmed, or reactive)?
in flight mode (wanting to escape, overworking, or distracting yourself)?
in freeze (feeling shut down, numb, or checked out)?
or in fawn mode—people-pleasing, over-accommodating, saying yes when you mean no?
As someone who works with clients navigating codependency and people-pleasing patterns, I often see how moving abroad can amplify these tendencies. Maybe you relocated for a partner, a job, or to support someone else’s dream. Maybe you didn’t fully choose this change—or maybe you did, but now you’re second-guessing it. These layers matter.
It’s common to feel:
resentment or frustration when your own needs feel sidelined
grief or sadness around leaving home or losing familiarity
or even a kind of confused ambivalence—feeling unsure of where you’ve landed and why
None of this makes you ungrateful or weak. It makes you human.
A powerful starting point is simply to track how you’re feeling—emotionally and physically:
What emotion is present?
Where do you feel it in your body?
What is your body asking for right now?
Even a few mindful breaths, paired with this kind of curiosity, can shift your internal state. This is the kind of work I support clients with—learning how to connect with your emotional landscape and create a felt sense of safety within yourself, even when the external world feels unfamiliar.
Mindfulness is not about overriding difficult emotions. It’s about being with them skillfully, kindly, and without judgment. As you move through this transition, allow mindfulness to be your guide. Let it bring you back to the body, back to your breath, back to yourself. From that place, it becomes easier to navigate the complexities of expat life with greater self-trust and inner balance.
Therapy as a Resource for Expats
Therapy can be an essential companion on the expat journey. As someone who’s lived this experience firsthand, I offer therapy for American expats living in London and throughout Europe. Our work might explore:
Identity shifts and role transitions
Grief around leaving family or home
Relationship changes or disconnection
Trauma responses triggered by the unfamiliar
Patterns of people-pleasing or self-abandonment
My approach integrates mindfulness, somatic therapy, and parts work—so we don’t just talk about your experience, we work with it through your body, your emotions, and your story.
I offer online therapy for those across Europe, with a special focus on supporting Americans adjusting to new cultural and relational landscapes.
Embracing the Adventure (Without Spiritually Bypassing)
It’s tempting to gloss over the hard parts and say, “I should be grateful—I’m living abroad!” But honoring the grief, confusion, and disorientation is part of the gratitude. You’re not doing it wrong if this feels hard.
Let this season be one of unfolding—not striving.
Try something new. Get a little lost. Take longer walks. Practice presence. Eat alone in a café. Reclaim your inner compass.
Living abroad isn’t just about seeing the world—it’s about seeing yourself more clearly through the mirror of a new place.
Final Thoughts: Living In-Between Is Its Own Kind of Home
Being an expat means living in the liminal—the space between the known and unknown. And it’s in this space that the most profound growth can happen.
Whether you're navigating identity, relationships, or simply learning to be in a new environment, remember: this journey is valid. It matters. And you're not alone.
If you’re seeking support as an American expat in London or Europe, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
Let’s reconnect you to your sense of self—wherever you are in the world.
Want to take the next step?
Learn more about therapy for American expats living in Europe
Or book a free consultation to see if we’re a fit.
